


If We Were Gay, That's The Way I'd See It

by SilentJo



Category: Askewniverse
Genre: First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gay Sex, Love Confessions, M/M, One Shot, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 11:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15436281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentJo/pseuds/SilentJo
Summary: Despite his normal behavior, Randal Graves is supportive of Dante and his five-year-old daughter after Becky leaves them.  But when the stress starts to pile up on Dante until he can't handle it anymore, Randal makes a move that changes how they both see each other.





	If We Were Gay, That's The Way I'd See It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [outruntheavalanche](https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/gifts).



"Caitlyn, you gonna give Daddy a hug before you go?" Dante Hicks said to his four-year-old daughter as she scampered off toward the front door.  
  
"I'm gonna be late, Dad! Okay..." She hustled to hug her father before rushing back to the door. Waiting for her outside was her Uncle Randal, ready to bring her to preschool.  
  
"Ready to go, pipsqueak?"  
  
"Yeah Unca Randal, don't forget the tape, you promised!"  
  
"Like I'd forget to bring along your favorite cassette for the ride. Who woulda thought your kid would have a taste for 90's music, eh Dante?"  
  
"I hope you're not playing anything inappropriate, Randal. My folks are still upset about her parroting lines from Pulp Fiction from the last time they watched her."  
  
Randal chuckled a little under his breath, "C'mon, it's not like she understood what the words meant. And when she does, then Daddy can explain why Marcellus Wallace doesn't look like a bitch, heh."  
  
"You're gonna be late, drive carefully."  
  
"Yes, Mom. C'mon munchkin, let's roll out!"  
  
Dante watched his best friend of nearly twenty-five years walk away with his little girl skipping around at his feet. He smiled and laughed to himself, wondering how the guy that he considered the least capable parental figure ended up being so dependable. Sure, he had his moments, but all-in-all, since Becky left him alone with Caitlyn, Randal had been the support he needed to get through everything.  
  
Waiting until Randal's car turned around the corner, Dante took in a deep breath and sighed. "Well, guess it's time to get over there."  
  
He was going to the newly remodeled Quick Stop and RST Video stores that Dante and Randal re-opened shortly before Caitlyn was born. Their spontaneous jump to business owners garnered some criticism, but the town's opinion was positive. The residents needed to get their smokes and overpriced milk somewhere, and they made their trip just a little shorter once again.  
  
Dante pulled up to the stores and unlocked the video store. Elias was already manning the counter in the Quick Stop, so Dante got to work scanning in the latest returned movies. Their decision to keep the video store was debated hotly. With the sudden increase in streaming services, their profits dwindled more and more each quarter. Randal was still opposed to letting it go, claiming that there were still people who appreciated seeing their movies on DVD or VHS. "Stubborn as always," he had told him before throwing his hands up and walking away. After so many years together, he knew which battles to pick with Randal.  
  
So even though the convenience store was flourishing, they were still taking a loss with the video store, and this was causing a lot of stress for Dante. They weren't quite at the point of bankruptcy, but if things stayed the same, it would be a likely situation in the future.  
  
Finished with the video store work, he locked up and walked over to the Quick Stop.  
  
"Hello Mr. Dante, hope you're having a great m-morning," Elias said as he waved dramatically from his spot behind the register. Elias split his time between Mooby’s and their stores. Randal had taken a liking to the kid, despite the constant hazing and teasing.  
  
"Morning Elias. Anything to report?"  
  
"No sir, well aside from the electrician still refusing to fix the bathroom lights. I-I called him again as you asked, but he doesn't seem to want to let go of that grudge with the former owner."  
  
Dante sighed again, "Yeah, I figured as much, thanks for giving it a try. We got the flashlights back there, right?" He hated that some of the old quirks from Quick Stop followed them into the new store. One more problem to work through, he figured. "I'll be in the back office, call if you need anything. Randal should be in to open the video store around 10 am. Which means you should expect him around 11:15."  
  
"You know him all too well, Mr. Dante."  
  
"Eh, being friends for twenty-five years tends to have that effect. See ya in a bit." Dante went into the back room and started crunching numbers for the quarter. He had nearly finished when the phone rang.  
  
"Quick Stop, this is Dante."  
  
"Hey Dante, it's me," Becky replied as Dante's heart jumped up to the back of his throat.  
  
"Becks, wh-what are you doing calling here? I thought you said you—"  
  
Becky interrupted him, even though he was struggling to finish his sentence anyway. "I've been giving it a lot of thought, Dante, and I'm just not sure this is working for us."  
  
"Wh-What do you mean? Of course it isn't working, you're not even here trying to make it work! You haven't seen Caitlyn in months. If... If you would just give it a serious chance and come back, I'm sure that we can fix this."  
  
"I don't want to fix it, Dante! You're a great guy, but the life you wanted for us just isn't the one that I had in mind. I can't pretend to be happy anymore."  
  
Dante had felt deep down that this conversation was coming, but he had no idea how hard it would hit him. "What about Caitlyn? She asks about you all the time. How long can you expect me to keep making excuses for you?"  
  
"Then don't, Dante. I know I'm being a shitty parent right now. But in all honesty, being one wasn't what I wanted for myself. I can't fake that either anymore. She's a good kid, I'm sure she'll be okay. I've gotta run, but I'll send over the paperwork through my lawyer for the divorce soon."  
  
"Becks, please..." Dante pleaded, but only to an empty line; she'd hung up well before he finished saying it.  
  
Another relationship that failed, he thought to himself as he hung up the phone and rested his head on the desk and cried. The sound of shouting at the front of the store caught his attention, and he rushed to see what the problem was.  
  
"Just empty it into the bag, you fuckin' bitch," the large man dressed in black yelled to Elias, who was trembling as he opened the register and started stuffing the bills into the paper bag in his hand. Dante could only watch as the man held a gun to his employee's head.  
  
_Why is this happening today of all days? Hasn't life shit on me enough?_  
  
The robber snatched the bag of money from Elias' hand and kept the gun trained on him as he made his way to the exit. As soon as he left, Dante rushed to the front to console Elias, who had fallen to the ground behind the counter. He called 911 and gave as much information about the robbery as he could to the operator. First, his marriage was broken, then his business robbed. He feared to think of what else the day had in store for him.

* * *

  
Randal showed up to the store to find several squad cars with their lights on in the lot. He rushed in to see what was going on and found Dante speaking to several officers.  
  
"Hey, what's going on?"  
  
"W-We got robbed, Randal," said Elias, who was sitting behind the counter, his face wet with tears. "It was awful; I thought I was going to die."  
  
"What'd they take, just money?"  
  
Elias nodded as he struggled to catch his breath. Randal decided against making any jokes at his expense right now.  
  
Dante had finished giving his statement and walked over.  "Where the fuck have you been? Didn't you see all the calls I left?"  
  
"Yeah, but I figured it was your usual nagging, so I was just going to deal with it when I got here."  
  
"My usual nagging... That's just great to hear, usual nagging. I'm just so done with today.  This place can burn the fuck down again for all I care!" Dante started sweeping stuff off the counter in a rage, his eyes glassy and hurt.  
  
"Hey, hey! Cut that shit out, man!" said Randal as he grabbed Dante's hands to stop him from destroying anything else. "You know you don't mean that. At least don't say it while the cops are still here. If that shit does happen again they'll think it was arson. Anyway, this kind of shit happens all the time, that's why we have insurance. Someone robbing us doesn't mean the end of the world, Dante."  
  
Dante struggled to get out of Randal's grip, "Becky called, okay?! She said she's done. My whole life is just going to shit right now, and you're just waltzing in here like it's just a typical day at the office." Dante was breathing heavily now, close to unleashing another outburst of destruction in the store.  
  
Randal held him again, wrapping his arms around him this time. "It's okay to be pissed off, man. But taking it out here isn't going to do any good. Once you calm down you'll just get mad at all we'll need to replace. Just take a breath, we'll get through this just like any other day."  
  
Dante felt himself calming down. He wasn't sure if it was Randal's speech or the fact that he was so close to him that made him reevaluate his current state of mind. Lashing out here wasn't going to help, and he knew that. But he needed some way to release all this pent-up frustration and anger.  
  
"You're right, you can let go of me now. This day really has been shit, though. And it's not even noon yet..." Dante wiggled out of Randal's arms and walked into the back office and closed the door. Randal watched him go, noticeably worried about his best friend.

* * *

  
  
Dante heard a few hard taps on the door before Randal opened it and stuck his head through. "I called your parents; they're gonna pick Caitlyn up from school and keep her overnight."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Because it's obvious that you need a break. So no complaints or excuses, just hang out with me and forget about the shit that went on today. It's 90s trivia night at the bar, figured you could make use of all that useless knowledge you've been gathering in that head of yours to win some free beer and snacks."  
  
"You mean you want to use my talents at trivia to attain free beer and snacks."  
  
"See, you get it. Now let's go before all the good seats are taken."  
  
**Three Hours Later**  
  
"You know, I'm aware that you're second to none when it comes to obscure 90s references, Dante, but you've outdone yourself this time, my friend," said Randal as he drank another of the many free drinks that their participation in the night's contest had earned them. Even while drinking his prizes, Dante managed to outperform every other nerd in attendance.  
  
"It's nice to know I'm useful for something." Dante had put away quite a few more beers than Randal, and once the trivia contest was done, his distractions from his shitty day were gone, giving all of the negativity a chance to return.  
  
"Always so melodramatic, no wonder everyone thinks you're the bitch."  
  
"You know, it must be really nice to just be a spectator watching someone else's life go to shit all the time. My wife abandons my daughter and me, then pushes for a divorce. But oh no, I'm not finished getting fucked yet, oh no! Life decides to jam it in even further by having me witness our first armed robbery! And this is all before you even give any thought to whether you should actually show up to work on time, or God forbid answer your damn phone!" Dante had gotten up close to Randal's face at this point, his face red hot as he continued his tirade. "How can you be so fucking inconsistent all the time! Why can't you be there when I need you?!"  
  
Feeling on the spot, Randal decided to let actions speak louder than words, and leaned forward and kissed Dante on the lips. He immediately realized that he'd probably read the moment wrong and just royally fucked things up with his best friend.  
  
"Wha-What the fuck was that, Randal?!"  
  
"Consider that an apology for not answering the phone." He figured the best way to handle it was to play it off as if it wasn't a big deal. Dante was already proficient at making little problems into huge ones.  
  
Dante wiped his sleeve across his mouth, still mesmerized by what Randal just did. He still felt the lingering heat against his lips; otherwise, he'd have been convinced he'd only imagined Randal kissing him just now.  
  
"Apology my ass, don't mock me, you asshole! If you're going to disregard everything when I'm pouring my fucking heart out to you, then you should've just let me stay at home by myself!" Dante jumped up from his bar stool and walked out of the bar, his feet unsteady but driven by his anger to get as far from Randal as possible.

Going home would be preferable, but he knew that going there meant he'd be facing the reminder that his marriage was over. He decided to go back to the Quick Stop and sleep it off in the back room. Plus, the stores were a closer walk than his place. As he got close to the Quick Stop, he saw its two permanent yard decorations standing out front: Jay and Silent Bob.  
  
"Well look who it is, finally decide to open up the store? I been waiting to get my Lil' Debbie on, and you know Silent Bob here's got a thing for them Ho-Ho's, nooch." His ever-present sidekick Bob only rolled his eyes and nodded as he affirmed his fondness for snack cakes.  
  
"It's 10 pm, genius, the store would be closed already. We got robbed earlier, so we closed early."  
  
"What?! Someone held up _our_ Quick Stop?! Put out the word Silent Bob, no one runs up on our turf and gets away with that shit!"  
  
Bob only lit another cigarette and shook his head. He knew Jay well enough to tell when he should take him seriously. This wasn't one of those times.  
  
"Yeah, buncha savages in this town. Now if you don't mind, I've had enough bullshit for one day, I'm just gonna go sleep it off."  
  
Jay looked behind Dante with a puzzled look, "Hey yo, where's your other half at anyways?"  
  
"Don't get me started with him; he's only managed to make this fuckin' day worse."  
  
"I dunno man, that guy may play like he's an uncaring ass, but that dude does have one thing he cares about."  
  
"Yeah? And what's that?"  
  
"Pussy! Nooch. Nah but seriously, that dude is always hanging around you, like he wants your dick or some shit."  
  
Dante thought of that moment earlier, where Randal had leaned in and kissed him. "We've been friends for decades, of course he's gonna hang out with me. It's not like he has many other options as far as social circles."  
  
"Yeah, cuz the guy only wants your circle! Your ass circle get it?!"  
  
"Bob is attached to your hip, does that automatically mean you're lovers?" Dante didn't mean to throw the poor mute under the bus, but a point needed to be made.  
  
"That's my hetero-life mate, and I won't have you speaking ill of him, you got me? And what we got ain't like that, yo. I seen the way that Randal guy looks at you, you can tell that's a look of love, man. And he's been doing that shit for years. You think it was just some random shit I was spewing when I told people youse guys got married as Stormtroopers? It's like I was peeking into your future, yo!"  
  
_“...the way that Randal guy looks at you...”_  
  
He didn't want to admit it, but he'd noticed those same moments himself while they were around each other. He'd never paid it any mind, but now that it's been brought up, Dante's mind couldn't think of anything else. His mind randomly called back memories where Randal had hinted that his feelings towards him were more than just friendly. Some hints were subtle, others not so much.  
  
_Ahh, don't do this Dante, you just need to sober up, there's no need to overthink this. The little stoner doesn't have a point, does he?_  
  
But he couldn't stop himself from remembering all those times Randal had almost let him know how he felt. It was so obvious this whole time, Dante started to feel ashamed that it'd had taken him so long to realize it. His best friend had been pining for him for twenty-five years. That realization sunk his heart even lower than it already had been.  
  
"I... I gotta go," Dante said to the two dealers and turned back towards the bar. He needed to set things right with Randal and figure out just what this feeling was that he had and what to do about it.  
  
Stepping back into the bar, he went back to where he had left Randal. What he found was a small crowd gathered in the corner, led by some Rick Derris-looking bastard who had Randal jacked up against the wall.  
  
"Now do you wanna run that by me again, old timer? And make sure you choose your words carefully this time."  
  
"I was only saying that you should have gotten better dating tips from your mom before coming out here tonight. I bet she knows how to reel in the pussy since she raised such a big one."

Dante knew what was going to happen next and pushed through the crowd and yanked Randal out of the way before Mr. Vagina's fist connected to his face. He gripped Randal's hand tightly as they ran out of the bar and made it to the Quick Stop before their lungs gave out.

Catching their breath, both kept silent, waiting to see if the group of college punks decided to give chase. Once they calmed down and realized that no one was coming after them, Dante walked over to Randal. The guy must have gotten a few punches in before Dante arrived because there was some blood seeping down from a cut on Randal's lip and some bruising across his cheek.

  
"Such a fucking idiot..."  
  
"Who, me?" asked Randal.  
  
"No, me for not doing this sooner." Dante pulled Randal close and kissed him deeply, wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he did so. It was a spontaneous action, but the longer they stayed like this, the more Dante wanted. Randal was the one that broke them apart and pushed him away.  
  
"L-Look, you're just drunk and confused, you shouldn't do this right now."  
  
Dante looked at Randal with his eyes glassy and wet. "Things have never been more clear to me, Randal." He reached out and pulled Randal close to him again, lining up again to join their lips together. Randal ducked out of the way before he could connect.  
  
"I'm telling you, you don't want to do this, man."  
  
"I do, I'm sorry it hasn't sunk in until now. You've been feeling this way for... Jesus, decades. Watching me fail at one relationship after another, wishing for your chance." Randal started to look angry and lashed out at Dante.  
  
"What, so you think you're doing me some great service right now by throwing yourself at me? Like I'm supposed to just fall into your arms because I love you or something? I came to terms with the fact that you'd never feel the same way a long time ago. I'm not going to get my hopes up anymore just because you're drunk and want something to happen tonight. Tomorrow you'll wake up to see a totally different side of me and you and you're going to either be sickened by it or embrace it. And I won't be able to take it if it's not the latter of the two."  
  
At that, Randal turned away from Dante and walked away to the back of the store, slamming the bathroom door shut behind him. Dante wondered if he was right, that maybe things would be too different if they advanced their friendship with this next step. He couldn't stop this sinking feeling in his heart though and knew that it was worth taking the chance.  
  
Dante then realized that Randal was stubbornly hiding in the bathroom, which didn't have working lights on after 5 pm due to the electrician’s longstanding grudge. Shaking his head, he decided to follow him and try to convince him to at least get out of the dark room. He opened the door, the light from the outer room illuminated the interior features of the bathroom. Randal had camped out on the toilet with the lid down, holding one of the cheap flashlights and swirling it around.  
  
"You really going to sulk here in the dark like a child?"  
  
"Why did you have to follow me in here? I think the fact that I wanted to be alone in the dark should have been a clear message of me not wanting to see you right now."  
  
Dante approached Randal once again, "I have a lot of regrets, Randal. I don't want not taking this chance at something great with you to end up being one. If it turns out to be a mistake, fine, but we both deserve to find out, don't we?"  
  
Randal looked away, his expression blank as he thought about what Dante just said. Finally, he looked up at Dante, smiled, and turned off the flashlight.

* * *

  
  
"Of course I didn't bring anything, you think this was planned?" Dante said.  
  
"I guess not. Well, we do have a whole store out there, be right back." Randal stepped out of the bathroom, naked from the waist down except for his sneakers, his cock swaying left and right as he jogged down the aisle to fetch some supplies for their first time together. He laughed to himself as he realized that the location couldn't have been more perfect. Why not fuck for the first time in the Quick Stop? It wasn't like he hadn't fantasized about this happening a few dozen times back when they were in the original store. He grabbed some condoms off the rack and did a quick search for lube, surprised at the lack of it in their store. He'd have to put in an order with the distribution center tomorrow.  
  
He took the first thing he could think of that could make a tolerable substitute and went back into the bathroom.  
  
"Okay, I think we're all set now. So... uh, you want me to get you started? I don't think it'd be a good idea for me just to jam it in."  
  
Fear clung to Dante's face after hearing what Randal said. "Uh, yeah, that sounds like an awful idea. I don't know how this is supposed to work; I was assuming you knew."  
  
"I do, I just figured that you were as much of a perv as I was,” said Randal as he pulled one of the condoms out of the pack and tore it open with his mouth. Dante watched in silent admiration as Randal slid the latex over his cock. As many times as he had accidentally seen Randal's dick over the years, he'd never thought he'd be waiting to get fucked by it, and actually looking forward to it.  
  
Randal pulled the lube substitute out and cracked open the lid. Dante took a closer look at it and scoffed.  
  
"Really?! Of everything that's in this store, you had to grab the Crisco for this?"  
  
Randal coated his fingers in the greasy shortening and looked back at Dante, "What would you rather I grab the shoe polish?"  
  
"Just get over here!" Dante had grown restless waiting for more stimulation. Randal had spent some time stroking him earlier before his little shopping trip, and he was aching for more attention now.  
  
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" Randal approached Dante as he sat on the toilet seat, his erection hanging up as he held his ass out towards Randal. He grabbed Dante's cock with one hand, and rubbed his greased fingers around his asshole, teasing and lubricating the opening.  
  
"Ahh!" Dante cried out as Randal slid one of his fingers inside him, gently probing around to loosen the muscles and prepare it for something much larger. "Randal, that feels really fucking weird!"  
  
Randal continued to move his finger around inside Dante until he could work in his middle finger to join his index. He reached in deeper, feeling around for his prostate. A sudden gasp and thrusting motion from Dante clued him in that he'd found it. Randal forced his fingers in further to massage that spot even more.  
  
"S-Stop it; I can't take much more of that, Randal!"  
  
"This isn't one of those made-for-TV romances; we don't have to cum together. If you're gonna nut, then go for it."  
  
He didn't let up on rubbing Dante's prostate, and he felt his insides clench around his fingers tightly as Dante shot his load onto Randal's shirt.  
  
"Damnit, I knew I should have taken this off," he said as he watched the milky fluid soak into the fabric. He felt the warmth of it against his skin. He withdrew his fingers, satisfied that Dante was ready to handle more of him. He stroked his latex-covered cock and lined it up near Dante's ass. He coated it in more Crisco and started to push it in.  
  
"Shit, I figured you'd be a tight-ass, but wow." Randal slowly worked his way into Dante, eventually fitting himself inside completely.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Just start moving. Slowly." Dante wrapped his arms around Randal's neck as he started to move. There was some pain, but Dante didn't care. He just wanted to be in this moment with his best friend, now his lover. And it wasn't like he wasn't getting any enjoyment from this, each time Randal thrust himself further in, he grazed his prostate and sent a chill through him. Even though he came earlier, if Randal kept rubbing his cock against that spot, it was likely he'd be ready to cum again, which was surprising at his age.  
  
Randal watched Dante's face for any indication that he should slow down or stop. When he saw him enjoying it, he felt encouraged to go at him harder and started pumping his cock against him with more energy. He'd wanted to be this close to Dante for years and could hardly believe what was happening now. He was completely serious about not pursuing this for fear of rejection, but right now, he felt that even if things ended badly, this moment would have been worth the future pain and heartache.  
  
"I'm not going to last much longer," whispered Randal as he leaned into Dante even more, bending his legs nearly up over his head as he fucked him harder. This put his cock directly hitting Dante's prostate, which brought him even closer to another orgasm.  
  
"Me either if you keep hitting that! Don't even t-think of stopping now!"

* * *

  
  
Noticing the lights in the Quick Stop were partially lit, the resident neighborhood connection decided to step into the store to see what was going on. Surprised that the door was unlocked, Jay and Silent Bob looked around the main room but found no one. As they got closer to the back of the store, the noises from the bathroom caught their attention. Sneaking up to the door, Jay put his ear against it and listened to the sounds of Dante and Randal having sex with each other.  
  
"Looks like they finally took our advice, Silent Bob."  
  
The door muffled the moans and heavy breathing, but it was obvious what was going on.

"Nggh, I-I'm cumming!"

Jay's eyes opened wide as he heard one of them shout that before hearing the heavy sigh of someone who had just drained their balls.

  
Nodding to himself, Bob replied to Jay, "I just wanna know who the bitch was..."


End file.
